In last week’s podcast of Chill & Grace, one of the biggest takeaways was this.
“Be sure to check yourself that the life you are living is the one you really want.”
I don’t think many people have a plan to check in on their life. To check in and see if what they are doing aligns with what they want. To be proactive vs. reactive. We plan our doctor's appointments, vacations and voting plans (RIGHT?) but so often we do not have a plan to check in on our life. How crazy is that?! But I know you and you're different.
So today my challenge for you is to take a moment and answer these 5 questions for a quick check-in on your life.
1. On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied am I with my current situation?
2. What is it I want in my life a year from now?
3. How is where I am spending my time and energy serving me for the life I want?
4. What is one action I can take this week to honor my goals?
5. What do I need to remove from my life to make the progress I want?
Take the time to make sure the path you are on is the one you want to be one. We are all going somewhere, we might as well make it where we want to be.
Connect with me at email@example.com for some accountability. You deserve it!
Tracie is one of those people I met years ago and knew I would always want to keep track of. We met more than 10 years ago when we both worked in athletics and I have always been inspired by her joy for life and ability to beat to her own drum. We both have a career path that is diverse and may not make sense on paper but every stop and decision has a single thread through it. We trusted ourselves and what we wanted for our life.
Along with a diverse background, we also share a joy for being childfree, love for sports and empowering other women to live their best life to it was so fun to chat with her.
A self-proclaimed learned extrovert (which you would never know), Tracie has a passion for supporting those who have a voice that needs to be heard. With over 20 years of branding experience, Tracie works with individuals and brands to get their story heard. As someone who felt her voice wasn't heard growing up, she is on fire to help those who feel the same way. So many of us don't think we have a brand but that is not true. We all have a brand. We all have a reputation and image of how we show up in the world. You don't have to have a product or a business to create YOUR brand. Your brand is not only what people say about you but a guiding light for how you are living your life.
We spoke about Fear of Failure vs. the Fear of success, how its great to get the guidance of those you trust but equally as important to say No to what doesn't serve you and the importance of mourning losses and moving forward. She also shared how she is handling planning and hosting a wedding during a world-wide pandemic by staying connected to what's really important.
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."
Let me ask you a question, have you ever set a goal for yourself? Awesome. Me too!
Then have you ever pushed that goal to the side, made other things a priority and instead of making progress, spent all your energy, thoughts and brain power beating yourself up and regretting the lack of progress? Not as awesome. But me too!
We only have a finite amount of energy. We have to stop using it to look backwards on the things we should have done, didn't do and all the other thoughts that keep us stuck.
Ruminating on what you haven't done will not get you moving forward but it will keep you comfortable.
We often would rather beat ourselves up and hold ourselves back than to start the work toward what we want in our life. It can feel like a good excuse but really it's just keeping us comfortable.
I dont care if you have something you've been wanting to do for 2 weeks or 5 years, start fresh today. Give yourself the permission to let the regret and inaction go and begin today.
Life is too short to use that precious energy on what you cannot change. You're good. Let it go and get going.
Plant your tree today and get ready to watch it grow.
I have had this conversation with so many people from friends to clients to myself over the past six months.
For Now. *Yelling it loud for people in the back.*
The feelings you are feeling. The thoughts you are having. The circumstances you are circumstancing. They aren't permanent. Despite what you are feeling they won't last forever.
There is so much power in adding For Now to our thoughts. We have a short term vision at times not thinking to the future of how it won't always feel this way. We live in moments of panic and worry and all this overwhelm, never stopping to think it won't always be this way.
It's just how it is.. For Now.
Taking that secure job over exploring dream job.. For Now.
Frustrated with the way of the World ... For Now.
Homesick, lovesick, unmotivated, frustrated, all the feels .. For Now.
Thinking with a For Now mindset doesn't diminish what you are going through but it does keep it in perspective. It keeps the hope alive and mind open to what is ahead and not get lost in the here and now. It's a reminder to not base it all on this one moment.
If we've seen anything over the past year, our lives can change in an instant. One day we'll look back on this time and be in a brand new space of For Now. We live a lifetime of these moments.
I wish you the awareness and grace to remind yourself of being in the For Now. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and share how this works for you.
Life is funny. Today I had planned to share a podcast I recorded a couple weeks ago on being happy, Listen here, and this week has been one of feeling all the sadness.
Sad for our time ending here in the next couple months. Sad for what may be to come. Sad to leave a community I have built here. Sad for the state of the World.
Hey Holly, Thanks for the pep talk!
The thing is my sadness doesn’t take away from my happiness. They aren’t opposite emotions. I can be one or the other or both and THAT’S OKAY. We feel happy and sad when we are paying attention to what is important in our lives. In fact, in the episode I spoke about the more consistently happy I am, the more I sit in my sadness and give it the space it needs. When I do that, I open myself up to more happiness.
Happy for the experience this year has been. Happy for what is to come. Happy to see my family and friends. Happy that good people are still in the World fighting to make it a better place.
This photo is such a good reminder of this for me. Our happiness can be reflected in our sadness and our sadness reflected in our happiness, giving us a beautiful, full picture.
This was such a special episode as I shared what happiness feels like to me *hope* and the three reasons I don’t think people are happy. Dustin, Joh and I also talked about the danger of toxic positivity and the impact trauma has on one’s happiness. I hope you’ll tune in and share your thoughts.
“We all have a story. Either we don’t give value to our story or we let our story have power over us because of past experiences, shame, guilt, etc. I want to show women how to flip the paradigm for themselves and harness the power of their own story so they can shine a light out in the world.”
In today's episode of Chill & Grace, I spent time with certified coach April Pertruis and founder of Light Beamers, where she helps women use their story to get clear on their purpose, build their audience and grow their brand.
A natural born story teller, April believes every single person has a story (or stories) to tell that will light the way for others and that if we knew the impact and power our stories could make we would shout it on the rooftop.
We talked about how acknowledging and naming fear (hers is named the Devil)is the key to moving through it and how sitting on our story does a disservice to everyone but mostly ourselves. She shared the #1 reason she believes women don't tell the stories of their heart and how at the end of the day your story doesn't belong to you, it's there to serve others.
And a bonus, she shared a story that involved a strip club owner and mob boss! I bet you didn't think that was coming next.
This isn't just for entrepreneurs but for every woman or man out there who has a story on their heart they want to tell. It's for those who want to create meaningful connections and change the world. It's for all of us.
Like this podcast? Please leave a review so it makes it easier for others to find it! Have a topic or guest you would like to see, drop me an email at email@example.com!
Last Wednesday, I was about 20 minutes late to knitting class, trying to find the bus stop, when I got a call from Katie very kindly and maybe a tad scared, asking if I knew I had booked our flights to Oslo for Thursday night not Thursday morning. Um. NO.
In 20 + years of booking flights, hotels, trips this has never happened to me. I felt terrible for possibly wasting money. I felt embarrassed for making the mistake. I felt annoyed because it was one more thing on a busy day.
After a couple deep breaths and positive self-talk which went something like this, "You are a smart, resourceful woman with hours in the day. Figure it out!", I was ready to explore all options.
Book a new flight at exorbitant rates? No thanks.
Keep flight and miss a day of exploration? I'll pass.
I knew that both of those options were not ideal and would have left me disgruntled and resentful. Then I asked myself, "What else am I missing?"
So we ended up taking the overnight train from Stavanger to Norway. Something neither of us had done before and were glad to have experienced. May not do it again as an odd sensation to feel jet lagged after a train ride that would have been a 50 minute train ride but I digress.
I could have easily just gone with an option above but in my gut I knew there was more than I was giving myself credit for.
Asking myself, "What else?" kept the possibilities open. It kept me looking for more options.
How do you handle life when you get derailed? Do you typically just call it a loss and begrudgingly go along or do you stop and think "What else?"
We are far more powerful than we give ourselves credit for. Trust your ability to find the "What Else" and see how your world shifts.
Intention is the buzz word of all self-development but have you ever thought about what it truly means?
I love this definition of Intention: a determination to act in a certain way.
It doesn’t leave much up to interpretation, a clear focus for action on what it is you want.
The intention for your life is yours and yours alone.
What are you going to do with this magnificent honor?
Life happens quickly and if you don’t slow down and honor what it is you want for our life, the weeks, months and years fly by without you making any moves on your life.
Setting intentions and HONORING them is a daily practice so that you aren’t sitting somewhere years along the road, looking back at your life thinking what the heck did I do with my time?
As childfree humans we get to define our own lives, often creating a life that is different from everything we see around us. Setting intentions is even more important for us so that we stay centered on what it is we want, shutting out the chatter and distractions around us to stay on track for the life we want.
Living with intention is waking up knowing who you want to be as a person and setting tangible goals to get there.
Living with intention is knowing without a doubt what you stand for, not letting life distract you from doing it.
Living with intention is setting boundaries for the things that don’t serve your life.
Living with Intention is your North star for creating your best life.
Setting intentions isn’t a fluffy, woo-woo idea. It’s critical for your success.
What does it mean for YOU to live intentionally?
And how can you commit today to action in staying in your intention?
I know I say this all the time but I.AM.SO.EXCITED. to share this podcast with this world. In this bonus episode of Chill & Grace where you can experience first hand coaching! I was inspired by Esther Perel's podcast, Where Should we Begin?, where she shows real-time counseling session. What I love about her podcast is listening to the power of questions and listening to create aha moments and meaningful change. I wanted to show the same in coaching.
Coaching is so powerful. Its about discovering what is inside of you and the safe place to explore it. It's being open and transparent with yourself. It’s being held accountable for what you want by investing and dedicating resources to make your life work for you. Coaching is about taking the time to look at your current life and make changes to create the life you want.
In today's episode I have a session with Tameeka where we dive into Imposter syndrome and all the things that come with it!
If you want to experience coaching for yourself, there is no time like today. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with subject line Tameeka rocks for a complimentary session.
And if you like this podcast, please leave a review making it easier for others to find.
Fear comes in Hangry AF!
Wanting to be fed ASAP before it says things it will regret.I mean I don’t know from experience or anything.
One of the best things I have heard on fear recently is from Elizabeth Gilbert. Paraphrasing here but she talked about how she isn’t immune from feeling fear. What has changed is how she deals with it and that’s in that she welcomes it but that’s about it. She says “Thanks for showing up and trying to keep me safe. You can come on this journey but you have to sit in the backseat and can’t say anything.”
This has stuck with me.
In full transparency, there is a ton of uncertainty these days in our household and fears masked as frustration, anxiety and sadness are popping up. It feels like every option and outcome has even more uncertainty init. It's like a nesting doll of fear.
It's natural to feed those fears and honestly easier to feed into them than not. Our brains are hardwired to take the easy route and unfortunately feeding fears often comes more naturally than starving them out.
It takes awareness and work to acknowledge the fears you feel and the lessons it is trying to teach you but leave it at that. Feeding our fear only makes it come back for more. It's like feeding a stray cat. This feels like its my analogy limit for one post.
How are you feeding your fear these days? What can you do to stop feeding the fears and use the energy for things that will fuel you for success?
If you are full of fear try this three-step process to minimize the hunger pains you may be feeling.
1. Write them Down – It’s perfectly normal for us to feel fear but we don’t have to let it control our lives. Grab a pen and paper and write it down. Write down all the fears from small to large. Taking our fears from our head and heart to paper is one of the best ways to diminish the power of our fears. In our head they can become overwhelming but once we see them on paper, they often become a little less scary plus you know what you are really dealing with.
2. Measure your Fear – Now that you’ve written them down, ask yourself “On a scale of 1-10, how true is this?” Our minds run rampant often leading us to thoughts that aren’t even close to the truth. We can spiral from “I am fearful about losing my job” to “I will be destitute and homeless,” quicker than a Kyrgios serve. Okay THAT is my last analogy. Ask this question for each of your fears. Other questions to ask are “How certain is this to happen?” or “If it did happen, what could I do next?”
3. What is one action you can take to lessen the fear? - Fear and the other ways it manifest itself in worry, anxiety, helplessness, etc. can be combated by ONE thing. Action. When we continue to feed the fear, it lingers around waiting for more fuel, distracting us from moving forward with our lives. Looking back on your fears and how true they are, what is one thing you can do to counteract this. You may have a fear that is very real for you but I know there is at least one thing you can do to lessen the power of that fear.
You have a duty to live your best life and show up as your best self. You don ot have a duty to feed your fear every time it comes in begging for food.
Fear can stay Hangry AF. You have better things to do.
“I had the power to steer this and choose how it is going to go and to be the example of strength. For this to be about compassion and love and kindness and even a sense of humor when appropriate.And that was really important to me. This was a gift I could give to our future selves.”
Laurice had it all. Loving husband, four healthy kiddos and living in a beautiful community. She loved her life AND felt like there was something more out there for her. It wasn't until tragedy struck that she acknowledged the nudge for something more which helped her not just survive but thrive during the hardest time of her life. Laurice shares the journey of losing her husband and how realizing she had a choice over her circumstance gave her the power she needed to show up when life was not great.
We talked about acting in a way that your future self will thank you for, how giving hope is not always the kind thing to do and the discernment of knowing if one is searching for answers or running from the truth. We talked about how no matter what our circumstances are, no one can take away our choice over our thoughts, actions and memories and how acknowledging a nudge or spark in our life that we want something more is not selfish, it’s our responsibility.
Listen here on iTunes and if you liked this podcast, I would love for you to share with a friend who it could impact! Also leaving a review helps this podcast get in front of more people so please leave a review if this podcast has helped you!
Man, you ever get taken down by something so simple you're almost embarrassed to admit it? Insert me raising my hand.
Yesterday my keyboard went out and I had to borrow Katie's Norwegian one until I can find a new one. Felt pretty proud of myself for thinking of it as an option and got to work then couldn't figure out how to type a ?.
Yes you read that right, a ?.
Up to the point I had an A + day. I watched the DNC, had a good workout and a successful in person meeting but in that moment I felt a shift. I was frustrated and felt derailed.
It was more than not just being able to type a ? and I knew it.
It was feeling like I was behind.
It was feeling the overwhelm of an already too packed day.
It was wondering if I would be able to get this email out.
It was worrying if I was doing enough.
Ya'll our minds can spiral so quickly especially in unprecedented times like this.
Don't discount these moments as just a silly, overreaction. Stop and take an inventory of what is at work underneath. Let them be warning signs that there is something else you need to address.
Are you tired? Are you scared? Are you overwhelmed?
Are you all of the above?
For me it was getting past the superficial frustration of a keyboard to the root of the factor, overwhelm. I was then able to look back on what I could have done better, not schedule so many items that require high energy on one day, and what I could do at that moment. A good ole 24 minute cat nap.
*please ignore all typos. sent from a Norwegian keyboard*