How Feeling Small & Insignificant Reignited my Fire

Standing on a boat in the middle of a Fjord, my heart was full of awe, gratitude and disbelief at the beauty that surrounded me. And then a thought popped up that made my smile a little broader. I felt small and insignificant, in the best way possible.

I looked around thinking at this moment it doesn’t matter who I am, what I do or what I accomplish. This place was here long before me and will be here long after me.

I felt a sense of relief that yes while I still want big things for my life, most of the people in the world have no idea what I do or who I am. Every move I make does not have life-long impact. The self-imposed pressure lifted a bit.  

It’s normal to get wrapped up in our lives with no thoughts to the big picture. Our lives do matter and our struggles, worries, and victories are important to us. They should be. But so often we tend to overthink and over worry ourselves into paralysis thinking that every decision has this magnitude of power that in most cases it does not.

We tend to take ourselves so seriously that we can miss out on the excitement and joy that life can bring. We become so worried of people’s opinions and what could happen that we don’t step out with courage and passion.

We tend to think the world is watching every move we make when in reality we are all busy leading our own lives.

While surrounded by the most beautiful place I have ever seen, I felt a sense of power knowing I could do things that may fail, that make me feel vulnerable, that people may not understand and still the world goes on. Not everyone is watching my every move even if I would like to think so.

What is it for you?

What is ONE thing you would do if you gave no thought to other’s opinions of you?

What is ONE thing you would do if you gave no thought to the fact it might fail?

What is ONE thing you would be so proud of to accomplish even if it meant nothing to others?

I hope that in the future whenever I get hyper-focused on my bubble, I can stop and think about that moment when I looked around at a vast world and realized the small role I play and the power that lies in it.  

Whatever it is for you, I am rooting for you!

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Small and Insignificant

And then a thought popped up that made my smile a little broader. I felt small and insignificant, in the best way possible.

Chill & Grace Podcast - Transitioning into Freedom with Remington

“I remember when I was looking at my son. We would take long walks because he would only sleep when he was held and I would talk with him and tell him ‘I want you to be you in whatever that means. I want you to be you and no one else.’ One day I looked in the mirror and thought what example am I setting for him?  Then everything began to break.”

I am so honored to be able to share the story of my friend, Remington. Remington is an ordained Presbyterian Minister and Healthcare Chaplain. She currently works with the sick and dying as well as with their support system as a hospice chaplain. She is one of the kindest, most compassionate and courageous people I know. She was also born a male.

When I met Remington about 5-6 years ago she was presenting as a man. I have witnessed her journey as she dove into the deep end of living her truth. Although her exterior has changed, her heart, values and love for people has remained the same yet expanded in so many ways once she embraced who she was meant to be.

This was such as special episode as we talk about her recognizing at the age of 9 that something was different and at the age of 13 seeing a trans woman and feeling something in her stir but in the same moment feeling the shame. Remington shares the years of pushing down who she was meant to be to live a life society instructed her to and that it wasn't until the birth of her son that she had the courage to honor her truth. We also talk about how her faith has changed over the years and how she is a better bedside chaplain now than when she was presenting as a man.

I have never seen someone trust themselves to disrupt the norm in such a big way and as gracefully as Remington has. This podcast was an honor to share with you.

Listen today on Spotify and iTunes.

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Chill & Grace Podcast - Transitioning into Freedom with Remington

Are you Ready to make an Investment over an Excuse?

Hi! I am so glad you’re here. Just by you showing up here, I see something in you. I see how you know there is something more you need to do. I see that you are frustrated with the progress or lack of progress you’ve made. I see that you are someone who values making the best of their time on this planet. I see someone who is ready to make an investment over an excuse.

I like you already!

You may have lost traction over the past couple months or found a shift in your priorities but take a deep breath. You’re in the right place.  

Now more than ever it’s important for you to be intentional with your life.

Despite all the uncertainty and setbacks you have faced, you are still in control of how you show up every day and the impact this creates.

That is what this program is all about. It was designed to help you reset you goals and priorities and relaunch into the back half of the year, equipped with the tools, mindset and support to make it all happen.

Is this for you?

Are you someone who knows what they want but if left to your own devices, it will stay on the back burner? And to be honest, you’re just sick and tired of letting yourself down?

Are you someone who wants something different in their life but the thought of what to do and where to start is paralyzing?

Or are you just someone who recognizes the power of support and a plan in making your lifework for you and not against you?

If you said yes to any of the above, this is for you! I work with high-performers who believe it is one of their highest values to show up as their best selves. They understand that true growth is a long game but the efforts are a daily task. They understand that they create their future even when everything around them is unknown.

Are you ready to make an investment over an excuse?

What is Reset. Relaunch.?
A 90-day program designed to support you to make serious moves on what you want for your life.It’s been designed to make small, consistent moves toward what you want with little overwhelm.

·      Monthly 1:1 sessions (3 sessions) – We will work together to create a strategic plan, work through barriers and limiting beliefs and anything that else that will get in your way.

·      Accountability Check Ins (6 – 2x month) – It helps to have someone check in on us when we set goals. We’ll connect via text/email to ensure you are staying on track for the goals you set.

·      Weekly Actionable Content – This content will be delivered straight to your inbox on Sunday so you can start the week strong. This may come in the form of video,text or worksheets. Never overwhelming and always useful.  

·      Online Community - A dedicated face book group for the like-minded members of Reset.Relaunch. for encouragement, support and fun! I'll also show up with FB lives and group coaching!

But Wait There’s More! What good is all the above if it doesn’t produce lasting impact.

Clarity on your goals are and why they are important.  

Plan customized for you based on what you want for your life.

Focus on one thing at a time to build the momentum. A rising tide lifts all ships.

Progress through daily, weekly monthly actions, small steps to make big progress.

Confidence in your ability to make life work for you through daily actions and goals

Support through myself and the online community of your fellow members. Excellence begets excellence and we all need a little extra support.

Celebrate your accomplishments,big or small, to keep the momentum on all the great things you are doing!

I Want In!

I am only taking 25 members for this initial launch AND as a bonus since it’s the first launch I am offering a ONE-TIME offer for this 90-day program of $379 for the entire program. The value alone of the 1:1 coaching more than this inaugural rate!
 

If you signup by May 22nd, you’ll receive a bonus 1:1 session to be used before we kick off on June 1st!


I can't wait to see what you do when you make what you want for your life a priority! 

JOIN ME TODAY!  

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Are you Ready to make an Investment over an Excuse?

Waiting for the Aftershock of the Earthquake that is COVID-19

A couple weeks ago, we I wrote a blog about how COVID-19 felt like an earthquake that straight up rocked our world, leaving us stunned and worried. (I am fully aware that for a woman from New Mexico who has spent much of her adult life in Texas,I sure do have a lot of earthquake analogies but this should wrap them up).

Now as we are starting to get back to "normal" this fear is still simmering underneath. We are anxiously waiting for the aftershock. We are all cautiously optimistic. Totes normal. There's a lot riding on how this plays out.

What if we all go out and cases ramp back up?

What will the economy look like?

Will we have to go back into quarantine?

Will I get sick? Will my family get sick?

What does my employment future look like?  

The fear of the unknown is so much more powerful than the fear of the known. But at the end of the day no matter what, your courage is bigger than your fear. We can do this.

Even though uncertainty surrounds us we can still move forward with what we want for our life, big or small. We can stop spending time on what “should” have been and“could” have been. We can stop using COVID-19 as an excuse for not following through on what we want for our life. We can scrap our previous plans, goals, ideas and create new ones that could in fact be better than we originally had planned. We can move past the fear into action.

I am ready.Are you? If you are, you'll want to join me starting June 1 for a three-month program to make serious moves on what you want for 2020. It will involve 1:1 coaching, accountability and weekly content all designed to help you make progress on what you want for your life. I am only taking 25 people so message me today to get on the list before it goes live at the end of the week!

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Aftershock of COVID-19

But at the end of the day no matter what, your courage is bigger than your fear.

Chill & Grace Podcast - Giving Yourself Permission with Shelley

“If it wasn’t about proving yourself to anyone at the end of the day what would you do? There’s so much one can let go when you don’t feel the need to prove yourself to anybody. It greatly impacts the decisions you make.”

Today I sit down with Shelley Pernot, published author, certified coach and founder of Babes without Babes in Austin. Babes without Babes is a meet up group for women who are childfree. Spending time with like-minded people with whom you don't have to justify your decision is huge when you are doing something different from the norm. You don’t realize you miss a community of people like you, for whatever it is for you, until you see it.

We talk about how the organization started out of anger and resentment, how it wasn’t until she recognized the complexity of the parent/ child dynamic that she boldly stated her choice of being childfree and how finding your purpose is really a crock of you know what.

Listen today on iTunes or Spotify.

On the fence and struggling with making the decision once and for all if you want kiddos ?  With my free download, "The Kid Question," you'll identify and release your perceived obligations and expectations — your should shackles — so you can decide your future on your terms. www.hollykrivo.com/tools

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Giving Yourself Permission with Shelley

Why We Should be Grateful for Our COVID-19 Parting Gift

I don't think I'm alone when I say that I feel like all the time has passed and no time has passed since COVID-19 crashed our party. Here in Norway we are slowly opening back up to a "normal" which is probably a stretch of the word. 

Although we are all ready to get back to the life we created,I have spoken to several people who said it was a little bittersweet to return as they have found pockets of joy in their life during this time. Ways of living that were unexplored before the party came to a halt. Look at COVID-19 trying to bring a gift to the party it crashed. 


Have you found that is true for you? I have noticed for me I appreciate the more frequent check ins with friends and family. I appreciate not having to feel like I need to go and do and be. 

What is it for you? I think we can ALL find something that we can take with us from the experience even if in the midst it felt like a totals%$& show. 

Have you found ways to cope in a stressful situation that you are proud of? 

Are you grateful for the quality time with your family instead of the activities and events and to dos?  

Have you enjoyed long walks in nature to clear your mind? 

Are you saving money and realizing you really could do the things you wanted to do if you stopped the mindless spending? 

Have you been honest and realized all the things you thought you "had" to do were not in fact that?
 

I encourage you to take 5-10 minutes today, grab a piece of paper and pen and write down the experiences, thoughts, actions you want to continue as we enter this next phase. Be specific on how you can implement these and why they are important to you. 

Because here's the deal, we will get back to it and old habits die hard. It may be hard to imagine but one day this will feel like a distant memory and we'll forget the good that came out of it if we aren't intentional with what we learned. 

Even if uninvited (RUDE) COVID-19 brought you a gift during this time, let's not let it go unappreciated or forgotten.  

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Why We Should be Grateful for Our COVID-19 Parting Gift

It may be hard to imagine but one day this will feel like a distant memory and we'll forget the good that came out of it if we aren't intentional with what we learned. 

The Earthquake No one is Talking About

I feel like we’ve all been through a minor earthquake. We’re rattled. We’ve started to put things back on the shelf. We’re starting to adjust to our new normal but the ground has shifted and we’ve found a couple cracks in our foundation.

The foundation of our mindset. Our relationships. Our goals. Our optimism. Our health. Our finances.

Pre-earthquake we felt confident in the foundation of our life. We were rocking as usual until our world was rocked. When life is going as planned and we are “in control” (Spoiler: we rarely have as much control as we think) we tend to gloss over the cracks with busyness and accomplishments and excuses.

Post-earthquake we are noticing the areas of our life that maybe weren't as strong as we thought. The distractions are gone, our norm is flipped upside down and stress is high. It is no longer easy to avoid taking a hard look at what is holding our lives up.

Is this true for you? Are there areas of your life that have been exposed by this crack in the foundation?

Awesome! Let this be a warning shot for us all to get real on where we need to put some effort in our lives.  

Is it a crack in your relationships where you are noticing areas that could use some support? 

Is it a crack in your satisfaction with your job and you are wondering "what the heck am I doing"? 

Is it a crack in how you take care of your body, both mentally and physically? 

What an opportunity to be able see the areas of your life that have a crack before your world totally crumbles without warning. 

I encourage you to take time with this question. Write it down. Let it marinate. Be honest and think big.

“What does my truest and most precious vision for this part of my life look like?”  

Design that blueprint and take the first step to rebuild the foundation for a life you are proud to thrive in.

What an opportunity to rebuild your foundation with intention and purpose and passion. 

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The Earthquake No one is Talking About

“What does my truest and most precious vision for this part of my life look like?”

Chill & Grace Podcast - Training the Mind for Change with Bryan

“For me it wasn’t other people that held me back rather myself and the confidence. It was beating back the ‘You wont be able to do this’thoughts. You get comfortable in life and think ‘Why would I upset the apple cart when I don’t need to? I could be fine, coast, make money and go on down the road,’ but I knew that wasn’t what I wanted.”

Bryan was making  a great living in the energy industry, not totally fulfilled, but also not sure what else he would do with his life. He would drive by the campus of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center and think "man if I could go back I would probably go the medical route".  It never felt like a possibility, just a fun idea. He filled the void in his life running, eventually earning 4 IRONMAN titles after starting out with a work-sponsored 5K.  He had no idea that the 5K would eventually propel him into leaving a secure, comfortable life in his mid-30s to attend med school.

In today's podcast Bryan shares the similarity of training for endurance sports and going through the med school process and how he is a better student later in the game than he would have been in his 20s. We talk about how the distracting chatter of what he "should" do came from himself and the way he combats those thoughts which still come into play today. We talk about how the power of mindset and showing up every day is key when making a big change and how finding your "reset" button will keep you focused and engaged.

Listen today on iTunes or Spotify.

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Training the Mind for Change with Bryan

The One Thing you Need to Do while on the Struggle Bus

If you are like me you ARE NOT HERE FOR THE STRUGGLE BUS.You are used to feeling in control of your day, getting stuff done and overall feeling pretty good. Riding on the struggle bus is uncomfortable and you are much more of a drive yourself type of commuter.

If you find yourself on the struggle bus, especially during COVID-19, while still trying to move the needle on whatever it is you want for your life I am going to say something that may sound a little counter intuitive to you.

Narrow your Daily Must Do List to 2-3 Items

"Wait ? Only 2-3 ? But Holly I can do so much more!"

Yes you can and you most likely will but we are in weird working times with unique distractions. As good as it is to have a routine, we must adjust our routine to our new normal. Having 2-3 items you can accomplish will be BIG WINS and we all need big wins these days.

Accomplishing 2-3 items a day will move you further along in your goals than a list of 10 that never get done and get bumped to the next day and the next and the next..... Sound familiar?

Ask yourself, What can I do today that will keep me on track toward what I want for my life ?

Write it down. Do it. Mark it off. Give yourself a high-five. Repeat.

Will you do more ? Most likely. The momentum of accomplishment will most likely keep you going but if not that’s fine too. You did what you said you would. You can go to bed knowing you kept a promise to yourself and made progress toward goals while also showing yourself grace and removing some of the self-imposed pressure. It’s totally possible to be riding the struggle bus and still make some moves.

If you are on the struggle bus, I see you. I hear you. It's normal and perfectly okay to take a ride on the struggle bus. We just can't stay on there forever. We have bigger things to do.

Remember I'm rooting for you.

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The One Thing you Need to Do while on the Struggle Bus

Ask yourself, What can I do today that will keep me on track toward what I want for my life ?

Chill & Grace Podcast - Leaving the Good Life

“I’ve always had a struggle with what life has told us we are supposed to do and what I internally felt I was supposed to do. I thought I was supposed to have kids, be married, etc. I had these expectations for myself but inside I somehow knew I didn’t have to do these things. I was secretly fighting those thoughts. I wouldn’t say I was disappointed in my life but like a lot of women I know I was really focused on timelines and set goals based on where I should be.”

Jessica was checking off the all the boxes for the American Dream. She had the degree, the corporate career, the hip apartment, the nice car and a great group of friends. She wasn't unhappy but had a nagging sensation there had to be something more outside of society's expectations. She had struggled for a long time with what she thought life had told her what she was supposed to do and what she internally wanted for her life. She was doing what society told her to but she had a voice in her head and heart telling her there was more.

So in 2017 she left a very nice life to chase that voice in her heart telling her it was time to travel the world and for almost three years, Jessica has lived out of a suitcase living in over 20 countries and exploring more than 30. She made the bold and courageous move to leave the good life to lead her true life. It hasn't always been easy but it's been worth it.

In today's episode we talk a lot about how self-awareness is key when making a big decision, why she chose to leave a life that was going well and she was happy with to take the chance to follow her heart  and how the theme to her adventure is shedding the extra baggage both literally and metaphorically to be free in all they ways.

Listen here on iTunes! If you would like to work on stepping into your truth with what you want for your life email me at holly@hollykrivo.com with “Leaving the Good Life” in subject line for a complimentary session.

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Chill & Grace Podcast - Leaving the Good Life

"I wouldn’t say I was disappointed in my life but like a lot of women I know I was really focused on timelines and set goals based on where I should be.”

I Don’t Owe Anyone an Explanation and You Don’t Either

Anyone else feeling totally out of wack? I have been staying up till 11. ELEVEN! And sleeping in until 7. SEVEN!  

Not only are we all figuring out our new normal I bet a lot of us are feeling guilt, judgment and “shoulds” around it.  

Are we doing enough? Are doing too much? Are we showing up as our best selves? Are we showing our heineys more than usual?

Yes. All of the above.

Figuring out our mindset, coping skills and new normal isn’t easy and it can change day to day. Hour to hour. Minute to minute.

I want you to remember. You don’t owe anyone an explanation on how you are responding during this unprecedented time including to yourself.

Show yourself some grace. Defend yourself to no one.

If you respond by eating chips on the couch, binge-watching your favorite show,I’m rooting for you.  

If you respond by going full throttle at work, a side-hustle or personal growth,I’m rooting for you.

If you respond by crying in the shower hiding from kids, I’m rooting for you.

If you respond by cycling through all these on one day MULTIPLE times, I’m rooting for you.

We’re all figuring out how to handle this and it’s okay to change your ideas or plans for what you need. Show yourself some grace.Defend yourself to no one.

In full transparency this is something I have struggled with even before this COVID-19 experience. Showing myself grace when I show up different than how I normally do. Showing myself grace when I wake up feeling non-productive and negative. Showing myself grace because at the end of the day I am the one who is most critical.

We all have enough going on without feeling the “shoulds” that weigh heavy in our lives. The only thing you need to be doing now is taking care of you in whatever way that serves you in that moment, remembering to show yourself some grace.

What is that for you?  If you don’t know I encourage you to take the time to really acknowledge what it is and honor it. Join my Rise and Shine mail list today for additional insights and actionable steps to continue to shine bright.

 

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Show yourself some grace

Not only are we all figuring out our new normal I bet a lot of us are feeling guilt, judgment and “shoulds” around it.

Chill & Grace Podcast - Doing the Work with Spanki Mills

“I had played it safe. I could tell you so many stories of ways I have shut myself down to make other people feel comfortable. Once I found my voice, I realized people either really like me or really don’t like me and that’s okay because I know where to invest my energy and efforts. Not everyone needs to like you, not everyone needs to like your message or how you do it but the ones that do are where you add value to them and take into account the value they add to you.”

Today’s episode is with Spanki Mills and in her own words, you either love her or you don’t. Not many lukewarm feelings for Spanki. I for one love her.

She lives unapologetically and admits in her 40s she is still trying to figure out what she wants to be when she grows up. A creative on many levels, she is constantly exploring what her"day gig" is but at the core it boils down to helping women discover they can do things outside the norm, stand firm in who they are and quit putting other's expectations on themselves.

When she had her kiddos young she pushed her desires aside to be a mom, thinking her time had passed. After an "adult temper tantrum" in her 30s she has been on fire, doing the work to better herself and to create a life she is proud of on her terms. We talk about how being a people pleaser is a really hard habit to break, how sharing your story and truth no matter how painful is can be such a gift to help heal others and yourself and how she turned down a business opportunity THREE times until she realized she could do it her way.  

Listen here! If you would like to work on stepping into your truth with what you want for your life email me at holly@hollykrivo.com with “Doing the Work” in subject line for a complimentary session.


Show Notes


10:00 – What is was like to give up her desires as a young mom and how an“adult temper tantrum” in her 30s got her on track to honor her truth.

15:20 – How one simple photo editing task changed her life and made her realize that her people pleasing was doing not only her a disservice but also her clients.

24:41 – Why she turned down an amazing business opportunity THREE times until she changed her perspective on how she could run the business.

32:00 – Why trusting yourself with what you want for your life keeps you focused and how photography helped her grow a thicker skin.

38:50 –  How the years of living her life to please others felt like a waste of her time, leaving her feeling heavy and empty and how she turned it around.  

46:30 –  How trying to fit ourselves into a checklist of others is the easiest way to get burnt out and will be a sure tell sign to others that we are not living authentically.  

52:15 – How being vulnerable helped her become the leader she never thought she was inspiring her team to do the same.

59:11
– How we have a duty to give truth to our story to not only let us heal but also show others they aren’t alone and they to can share their story.

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Chill & Grace Podcast - Doing the Work

I had played it safe. I could tell you so many stories of ways I have shut myself down to make other people feel comfortable.

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