“I had played it safe. I could tell you so many stories of ways I have shut myself down to make other people feel comfortable. Once I found my voice, I realized people either really like me or really don’t like me and that’s okay because I know where to invest my energy and efforts. Not everyone needs to like you, not everyone needs to like your message or how you do it but the ones that do are where you add value to them and take into account the value they add to you.”
Today’s episode is with Spanki Mills and in her own words, you either love her or you don’t. Not many lukewarm feelings for Spanki. I for one love her.
She lives unapologetically and admits in her 40s she is still trying to figure out what she wants to be when she grows up. A creative on many levels, she is constantly exploring what her"day gig" is but at the core it boils down to helping women discover they can do things outside the norm, stand firm in who they are and quit putting other's expectations on themselves.
When she had her kiddos young she pushed her desires aside to be a mom, thinking her time had passed. After an "adult temper tantrum" in her 30s she has been on fire, doing the work to better herself and to create a life she is proud of on her terms. We talk about how being a people pleaser is a really hard habit to break, how sharing your story and truth no matter how painful is can be such a gift to help heal others and yourself and how she turned down a business opportunity THREE times until she realized she could do it her way.
10:00 – What is was like to give up her desires as a young mom and how an“adult temper tantrum” in her 30s got her on track to honor her truth.
15:20 – How one simple photo editing task changed her life and made her realize that her people pleasing was doing not only her a disservice but also her clients.
24:41 – Why she turned down an amazing business opportunity THREE times until she changed her perspective on how she could run the business.
32:00 – Why trusting yourself with what you want for your life keeps you focused and how photography helped her grow a thicker skin.
38:50 – How the years of living her life to please others felt like a waste of her time, leaving her feeling heavy and empty and how she turned it around.
46:30 – How trying to fit ourselves into a checklist of others is the easiest way to get burnt out and will be a sure tell sign to others that we are not living authentically.
52:15 – How being vulnerable helped her become the leader she never thought she was inspiring her team to do the same.
59:11 – How we have a duty to give truth to our story to not only let us heal but also show others they aren’t alone and they to can share their story.